I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
