Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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