apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
