I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
