Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize