thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
