My sheets look like a crime scene.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize