I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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