My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
