im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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