Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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