i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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