I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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