...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
