Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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