but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
