Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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