I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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