Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
