you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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