therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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