how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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