Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
