just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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