i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
