I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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