And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
