she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
