I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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