They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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