I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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