get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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