Don't you send me to vm
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize