I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
