Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
