worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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