i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize