I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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