I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
