To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
