u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
