is wine microwaveable?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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