Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
