I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw a hot homeless man
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
