You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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