): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
