What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
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