maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize