nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
