ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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