Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
