Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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