Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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