Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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