It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
