I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
