That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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