no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
