So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
