yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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