so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
