He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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