i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
