i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
