it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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