just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
