once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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