Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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