no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
