I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
