I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Enjoy the penises
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
