Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
